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Supporting Parental Mental Health: Creating Positive Parenting Experiences
Supporting Parental Mental Health: Creating Positive Parenting Experiences
A panel discussion featuring Dr Cheryl Kam, Linda Van Laer, and Dr Xander Ong
Moderated by Far’ain Jaafar, BMSG Vice President
Parenting is often described as the most rewarding journey in life — but also one of the most demanding. Between sleepless nights, household responsibilities, and the emotional labour of raising children, many parents find themselves stretched thin. At this year’s World Breastfeeding Week (WBW) 2025 celebrations, the Breastfeeding Mothers’ Support Group (BMSG) hosted a thought-provoking panel on Supporting Parental Mental Health: Creating Positive Parenting Experiences, bringing together experts and parents to talk candidly about burnout, balance, and self-compassion.
A Safe Space for Honest Conversations
Moderator Far’ain Jaafar, BMSG Vice President, opened the discussion by acknowledging the silent struggles many parents face. “Parenting can be joyful and fulfilling, but it can also be overwhelming,” she said. “We want to remind parents that it’s okay to ask for help and that their wellbeing matters too.”
Joining her on the panel were Dr Cheryl Kam, Functional and Integrative Medicine Coach; Linda Van Laer, Counsellor at Alliance Counselling; and Dr Xander Ong, CEO of the Centre for Fathering. Each brought a unique perspective — blending medical knowledge, psychological insight, and family-centred support.
Recognising the Mental Load of Parenthood
Dr Kam painted an honest picture of modern parenthood, describing it as “a constant juggling act that tests both body and mind.”
She explained that hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and the emotional demands of caregiving can all affect mood and mental health — particularly for mothers who are breastfeeding.
“Your brain and body are on a rollercoaster you didn’t buy a ticket for,” she said with a smile. “These changes are biological, not a sign of weakness.”
She encouraged parents to tune into their bodies’ signals — noticing when they are running on empty, and giving themselves permission to pause without guilt.
Recognising and Recovering from Burnout
Linda Van Laer addressed one of the most common challenges faced by parents today: burnout. She described it as a gradual process that often goes unnoticed until exhaustion sets in.
“Burnout doesn’t always look dramatic,” she said. “It can start with irritability, difficulty concentrating, or feeling detached from your children.”
Linda encouraged parents to see self-care as a necessity, not a luxury. Simple acts like taking a short walk, writing down thoughts, or connecting with another parent can help reset one’s mental state. “Even five minutes of mindfulness or breathing can make a difference,” she reminded the audience.
The Role of Fathers in Emotional Wellbeing
Dr Xander Ong spoke about the importance of shared parenting and how fathers’ involvement directly affects family wellbeing.
“Shared responsibility isn’t just fair — it’s protective,” he said. “When both parents are engaged, it reduces stress and models healthy coping for children.”
He emphasised that emotional health is a family affair, not just a maternal concern. Fathers, too, can experience stress and emotional fatigue, and open communication between partners can make a world of difference.
Hormones, Breastfeeding, and Mood
Returning to the biological perspective, Dr Kam explained how hormones like oxytocin and prolactin — while essential for bonding and milk production — can also influence emotional stability.
“It’s important for mothers to know that mood changes or ‘milk brain’ moments are part of the biology, not a reflection of poor parenting,” she said.
She encouraged mothers to combine nutritional awareness with self-care. Eating balanced meals rich in magnesium, zinc, and iron can help support both mood and energy levels, especially during the postpartum period.
Building Connection and Community
The panelists agreed that one of the most effective ways to safeguard mental health is through connection — whether with a partner, friends, or parent support networks.
Dr Ong encouraged parents to schedule regular check-ins with each other, while Linda suggested joining peer groups to reduce isolation.
“Talking about the tough stuff helps you feel less alone,” she said. “When we normalise the ups and downs, we also reduce shame.”
A Message of Compassion and Hope
As the session drew to a close, Far’ain thanked the speakers for their openness and the audience for their honesty in sharing their experiences. The discussion left parents feeling reassured that while parenting is unpredictable, it doesn’t have to be lonely.
“Some days you thrive, some days you simply survive,” Dr Kam said gently. “But every day, you are doing enough.”
The panel’s key message was clear: mental wellbeing is not separate from parenting — it’s the foundation of it. By prioritising rest, connection, and self-compassion, parents can create positive, fulfilling experiences for themselves and their families.